A week and a half ago, I went on my third silent retreat. This one was a week in length, and was held at the Linwood Spiritual Center in Rhinebeck, NY. One side of the retreat house is where the sisters of St. Ursula live; the other side is for retreatants. The center has gorgeous views of the Hudson River, and I spent time every day walking to a nearby waterfall (see photo).
Many people have asked me why I voluntarily spent seven days in silence, or what on earth I did with all of my time. For myself, I often get caught up in seeing time as an enemy- there's either not enough of it to do the work that I think I have to do, or there's too much of it when I feel alone and want to have the companionship of another person. But the amazing thing is that I have come to experience through silence a sense of God's presence in a deeper way than I normally do when I go to church. I never knew before silent retreats what it meant to rest in God.
I came to Linwood so tired that the first night when I sat in the armchair in my little room, tears came to my eyes as I realized that I was not required to do anything. All I had to do was to try to be open to God's Spirit. Now as I am back in New York City dealing with the day-to-day, I am trying to open myself more to be aware of God's presence all around me.
Our culture does not reward sitting around and not "producing." While I was on retreat, I read a book by the late Jewish theologian, Abraham Joshua Heschel, called The Sabbath. Heschel says that we often equate productivity with goodness (and hence, not being productive is not a good thing). I see this in myself and want to spend more time simply enjoying the presence of God, whether I am looking at a waterfall, sitting at my computer, or spending time with a friend.
